Destruction; devastation or opportunity?

This morning as I stared at a painting I've been struggling with for several months I finally decided that what was required was complete destruction!  It simply was not working. To commit the act of destruction I couldn't look it in the eye so I flipped it 180 degrees and applied a random colour without thought or hesitation. The first blow struck, I felt strangely free! Another colour and another. Dots and drips and drags. The image I'd been really liking was all but gone. Checking in... mixed emotions... some mourning for what was lost; but creeping in, curiosity and a new wave of excitement. By letting go of what I was liking I was making space, creating an opportunity for something new.

That got me thinking about the many places in my life where I'm holding on to something, feeling a bit stuck, like things just aren't moving. I thought about my frustrations with work, some relationships, my spiritual practice, exercise and many other things. Why do we hold on to aspects of our lives when its clear they aren't serving us or adding anything to our lives?

Could it be fear? Fear of change, of the unknown? Or maybe it's about comfort with the familiar? Sometimes things just are as comfy as old slippers and we just cant let them go, even as they fall apart. Then there's the not wanting to wound or disappoint others... Hmmm that one 
resonates, certainly in so far as my paintings. It's always so difficult to move a painting when other people begin to like it and express strong opinions long before I feel the piece is done. Maybe it's the same in other areas of life. Well meaning comments like, "You've really got it good!" or "You have the perfect ..." can throw us into self-doubt and cause us to question our restlessness and ignore the awareness that an era has passed and something new is waiting to be welcomed in. 



What would happen if you got up close pulled some things down and rearranged others? I don't know. But what I do know is that everything becomes possible in the wake of destruction.It may look bad for a while but soon enough there is new opportunity, new growth and maybe even new wisdom.